It's Bobbie's World

A digital lifestyle journal

Relationships: So used to "losing" that I didn't know that I am "winning"

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I normally do not post anything too personal about myself here on the blog, but I told myself that in 2014, I will post some things every so often for my readers to get to know me a little more.

Let me tell y'all, I have had my fair share of losers guys just like anyone else that I have dated and the relationship just didn't go anywhere and this has been going on for a while now...actually too long.

So, here I am dating...again. So far, so good. He's a great guy, actually he's pretty awesome and I plan on keeping him around for a very long time. Let's just say I can picture a future with him. That's big thinking for me.

But in order for me to even begin to think about a future with my new guy, I have to change my way of thinking. See I've gotten so used to "losing" that I am not even thinking I deserve to be "winning" and I say this because my bave said it to me when I got upset with him(over something real small). His exact words to me were "YOU BEEN LOSING SO LONG DEALING WITH LOSERS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WINNING FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU ARE WINNING" to say the least my feelings were hurt, my babe didn't say it to hurt my feelings by any means; he just wanted me to know that I am actually "winning" this time around. What he said was the truth, I just hadn't had anyone who cared enough to tell me something like this--and it made sense.

As, I go on to date my babe, please keep me in prayers that I don't mess this good thing up because I am so used to dealing with losers guys that didn't care enough and I didn't either because I dated them, but I have a good guy now and he's a keeper.

Big up to my babe.....I'm loving him, because he loves me!

Bobbie

16 comments:

  1. Love that you've shared a lil piece of Bobbie. Now with that said...here's my response Bobbie,

    I think in life we either step up to the challenge or lose the battle. Many of us (women) have dated loser guys because we didn’t expect much or request much of those we gave our hearts, mind & body to. I think experience is a beautiful thing if we’re willing to learn & grow from the journey. We so often are looking only outwardly that when we find someone that possess inwardly qualities that we say we want & need we push that person away. Only to go back to what we’re familiar with (loser) guys. Part of that is we get what we expect. If we expect & request more we’ll receive more I believe.

    I wish you nothing but happiness this time around on your journey. I pray that you allow this man to be a man. I pray that you allow your heart to receive all that you’re worthy of & not let that past (losers) dictate your future. This guy (babe) seems very mature, humble & loves him some Bobbie. He’s operation out of intention. That’s a beautiful thing when the intention matches what you want & desire for your life…future. Wishing you the best Shuga Booh!!

    Paige

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    1. Paige,

      Thank you booh! I really appreciate your advice and blessings. I'm getting out my way and letting things falls as they may. He's my babe. I know we will be good

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  2. I would dare to say that a lot of women have the same problem. After living in "Loserville" for awhile, yes, we do setup walls or barriers to protect our hearts. Having those barriers are fine, but you should not have the new man pay for the old man's bills (if you know what I mean). Each relationship provides each person the opportunity to be different and hopefully better. If he is a good man like you stated and you trust him with your heart. Share with him your difficulties in past relationships and give yourself time to discover what is going good in the present relationship. Don't worry, you'll be fine! ;)

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    1. Hey Chic Mom,

      My thought process is totally different with him and this time around. My babe definately is not paying for the guys that are part of my past..he defiantely has a clean slate (something no other man has gotten). He's a good man and you are right communication has to be there, we've talked about my past from time-to-time.I can't wait to see how things play out with me and the Mister. Thanks for you for stopping by!

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  3. Being conscious that you have that tendency is the first step to overcoming it! Looks like you're on the right path. Best wishes to you & hopes that he turns out to be your 1. =-)

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    1. Hey Christy!

      Thank you, dear for your blessings! I think I have my #1 :)

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  4. I'm glad you're mature enough to understand what he meant by that comment. Take it easy, don't judge (cuz nobody's perfect) and see things for what they really are. Keep it simple. Go girl! I'm proud of you. :)

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    1. Hey Crisa booh!

      I am going to take it easy....Thank you!!! :)

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  5. First of all, I am happy for you! I know what it's like to have dated losers, been heart broken, etc. It's no fun and meeting my now fiance was a challenge when we first met in 2012. I had a guard up that he was warm and gentle enough to break down. I say all that to say that I know where you are coming from. It's important to pray and take each day at a time. Although I don't agree with him choosing that wording, I can understand what he was trying to say.

    Good men are hard to come by. The next time something happens, take time to step back and think. Was this meant to hurt me? What is his perspective? Communication can alleviate a lot of the things you may feel when you get upset easily or are unsure about something. Wishing you the best! <3

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    1. Hey Ms. Fabellis!

      No ma'am that is no fun at all, but I am glad that I kind of experienced it my heartaches and dated those losers, because I would not have been ready for my babe today. Thank you for your blessing. Oh and I can't wait to follow everything about your upcoming wedding this spring :)

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  6. I don't envy you with dating. How wonderful that you have found a good guy! I know at times it's hard to believe they are out there but they are. Good luck and I hope he keeps being a good one. :)

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    1. Robyn,

      Thank you for your blessing and your comment. :)

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  7. Change is always good...means you're growing! May God bless you in this relationship. :-)

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    1. Adrienne,

      I'm enjoying this growing...it was time. Thanks for your blessing :)

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  8. We've all been there but with experience comes wisdom!

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