Sunday, March 27, 2011

Why are you not married?

I’m driving from getting my nails done; listening to some music that had my head bobbin as I was on my way to a business lunch when I received a text from my girl Tracy asking me “Did you get my email?” So, I called her to let her know that I was not working today and that I had not received it and to ask her what was going on.  She proceeded to say that she read an article by Tracy McMillan of the Huffington Post you can read the article here and she was not really sure how she feels about it.  I told my girl that I will pull up the email when my time permits and we will definitely discuss it.

I finally get home, get settled poured me a glass of Sangria and decided to read the article that Ms. McMillan had written. I can say is it was a good read, definitely a topic of conversation one can have with her girls or her boys for some insight on how men really feel, but an eye opener to say the least. 

Even thought Ms. McMillan thinks that “we” meaning women are the problem why we are not married, I beg to differ.  I think it’s an equal combination of both men and women on why we are not married. But it's not to say we will never get married.  Also, marriage is not for everyone, and everyone is not marriage material.

Below, is the reasons Ms. McMillan feel we as women are not married. I added just a little touch about me to her reasons as well

  1. You’re A Bitch-NOT!
Ok, I know a man does not want to marry a woman who is angry or wants to fight all the time and actually I do not blame him. Hell, I don't want that for myself. But that does not mean if you are having a disagreement that one should not get their point across. There is a way to get a point across with out calling him out his name, hitting him and so forth. We all want someone who will be nice to us, just a well as we are to them. I’m so much not a Bitch, but I can use a little more help in this area, it’s the whole attitude thing sometimes with me

  1. You’re Shallow-I used to be
For the longest time in my early to late twenties I only wanted to date men who were dark-skinned and bald headed.  It was just something about those types of men that did something for me.  As I got older and moving out of my home state probably had something to do with me evolving into a different pool of men meaning…..light-skinned, hair or no hair, a foot taller than me etc… I’m so glad for this change; being this way made me shallow...this could possibly be the only reason why I am not married today, because I didn’t want to try something different.

  1. You’re A Slut-That’s a Negative
This reason does not apply to me at all.  I have always been a person of character and have worked hard to keep my morals and values intact.

  1. You’re A Liar-Once upon a time
Yes, I used to lie, but it is not what you think.  I never made a habit of lying…unless it came down to someone that I liked back in my younger years. But today I can and will tell someone if I am feeling them and I am not afraid of rejection now like I was in my twenties. Rejection happens to the best of us. It's a part of life. Enough said!

  1. You’re Selfish-I can agree to disagree on this one
I am the youngest of three girls. I also grew up in our home by myself, so it was almost like I was the only child. I got my way often and got alot of things and it didn't require me to share with anyone, but it did not turn my into a selfish woman today.  If you look up the definition of selfish, you definately will not see my face there. I think about almost everyone in any situation I come in contact with. Currently, my life is a little full-time, part-time and school, so yes that is all I'm thinking about at this moment, but that doesn't mean when that special person comes he won't get into rotation. With that being said, I have been single for a long time. I have been doing things on my own for that period of time.  I don't feel like it makes me selfish because I'm used to what I'm used to.  When that person comes along I will think about him-if not more-than myself(sometimes). It's called balance in a relationship and I'm sure when we establish ourselves as a "couple" I will not have a problem adjusting.

      6.  You're Not Good Enough-who doesn't fel this way...sometimes

Some have a hard time with the reason. It took a long time for me to understand this.  Going thru alot of BS with men, but as the older people would say "as you get older you get wiser, " so I did...still a work in progress but I am getting there. I am good enough for any man and if a man can't see it's his loss.

So what do you think the reason is why you are not married?


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